


Recompense

by debwalsh



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending Endgame, CapSeptender, Feelings Realization, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 16:18:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20509895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/pseuds/debwalsh
Summary: When Steve Rogers travels to Vormir to return the Soul Stone, he’s greeted with an unexpected choice that will change his life.My first installment for CapSeptender, the soft Cap challenge.





	Recompense

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t sure at first if this could be considered soft enough to add to CapSepTender, but when I shared it with my friends, they seemed to think it was. I will be posting art and fiction all month long as part of CapSepTender - I love the concept.
> 
> Also, expect more bingo fills - I’m writing more stories all the time!

Steve felt his stomach lurch and sour at the sight before him.

Johann Schmidt. Sepulchral, unmoored, drifting.Yet very much alive.Alive all these years in which Bucky had suffered.Alive all these years where Hydra had chipped away at freedoms, incited discontent, built a future in which hate thrived.

Red Skull.Not dead like he deserved. Not rotting in a corner of Hell reserved for the most evil of abominations.

Alive.Trapped, perhaps. But alive nonetheless.

Time had not been kind to Hitler’s mad genius.

Kindness was a subjective thing.

Wraithlike, he wafted toward Steve, the crimson skull an unreadable masque of death personified.He tilted his head, casting into shadow the eerie sockets where eyeballs looked out at Steve dispassionately.

“No one has ever returned the Soul Stone,” he said in clipped tones, his voice grating against the nerves of Steve’s spine.

“I have to put it back in its place.”

“This is unprecedented.”

“It has to go back.”

He seemed to undulate in a breeze that was not there, lifting slightly and then dropping lower to the ground.He tilted his head back, his eyes straining upward, and then he turned his head again, as though listening.

“The cost of the Stone is the sacrifice of a loved one.There has never been a recompense for its return.Yet, payment must be made.”

Steve felt himself gripping the container holding the stone more tightly.

Recompense.

Natasha was sacrificed so Clint could bring the stone back to defeat Thanos.Did that mean ... ?

“You must make a choice.”

“A choice.”

“You must choose.The one who sacrificed herself so that the Stone could be taken.Or the future you seek in the past.”

The future he sought in the past.

Peggy.

The life he should have had.

He and Buck had talked long into the night about his loneliness, about how much he missed Peggy.How much he missed home.How much he missed just being Steve Rogers.

Buck had encouraged him to reach for his own happiness.He’d argued it was time, time for Steve to live his own life.Even if it meant leaving him behind.Even as he’d looked so sad.

The look in Bucky’s eyes would never leave him. But he also knew he could create a new timeline where Buck was rescued from Hydra ...

He could have a future with Peggy, one where Bucky was free.One where Howard wasn’t killed by a friend, where Tony didn’t grow up hating him -

“You must choose.”

Or a future where Nat came home.

It really wasn’t much of a choice, was it?

And yet it was more than he could have ever hoped for.

&&&

Steve woke up sputtering, enveloped in warmth, a glowy, floaty feeling, and a gentle pressure on his chest.What made him sputter was ... hair?In his mouth?

“Sam’s right.You do make a good pillow, Rogers.”

He had to be dreaming.Right?He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid the dream would evaporate -

“But you’re still shit at faking it.What the fuck happened?Where’s Clint?”

He felt her dig her elbow into his ribs as she levered herself up, and he risked opening one eye to see her smirking down at him, chin resting on her hands crossed over his chest.Her eyebrow arched delicately, a sure sign she was expecting an answer.

“You’re heavier than you look,” he grumbled, even as he felt his heart bursting with something that was equal parts joy, shock, and wonder.

“I work out, remember.All muscle.You gonna answer me?”

“You gonna get offa me?”

Her smirk broke free into a full blown smile full of affection and trust, morphing into a confused frown for a moment as she rose up out of the silent, frictionless surf. She glanced around, then looked up at him curiously.

“A lot’s happened,” he said softly as he stood too.He cupped her elbow in his big hand, and guided her toward what looked like the shore.

&&&

They made it back to the ship slowly, as Steve recounted the events since Nat’s ... death.It had been difficult, but with her walking right beside him, alive, precious, and real, it was even harder to wrap his head around the idea of her being dead.Tony had been easier to accept, because they’d all seen it. But Nat ... he knew they were all guilty of wishing it were not true, and in ignoring it, had convinced themselves she was on a long covert mission.That somewhere in the universe, Natasha Alianovna Romanoff still lived.That one day she’d come home to them.

But that had been a dream, a wish, a hope.And yet, she was here, and she was crying.Over the loss that Clint had suffered so acutely and immediately.Over the success of the initial unsnap by Bruce.Over Tony.

She’d known Tony years longer than Steve had.Had been through more with him. But she hadn’t been there at the last moment, and so his death was equally unbelievable to her as hers had been to everyone but Clint. 

They’d reached the ship, and entered quietly, each shifting into pre-flight mode.“Pepper?” she asked softly.

“Was with him when he passed.We all ... we’re all there for her.Happy most of all.Rhodey.Parker - I think he’s looking forward to being Morgan’s big brother,” he added with a breathy chuckle.

“It’s hard to imagine.Impossible, really.But Thanos ... Thanos is gone.For good.Right?It was worth it.Right?”

Steve nodded slowly.He wasn’t really sure.Thor had killed Thanos in their present, but Thanos from the past came through and tried to destroy them all once again.Was he well and truly gone?

Could they ever be sure?

“Right,” Nat answered herself.“He’s gone, the fucker.We have a chance to rebuild, to make the world a better place.Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted, Steve?”

The question caught him off-guard.He’d been doggedly working to ease a little of the world’s pain, one counseling session at a time, and then the whole time heist thing ... seeing Peggy, seeing his photo on her desk - not the superhero, but the man before the serum - and then it had come back like it had never been buried.The sense of not belonging, of being an imposter in his own life.Of yearning to return to the time that was home.To return to the possibility that he never got to realize.To have his dance, his chance.

“Steve?”

“I don’t know.I don’t know what I’ve always wanted.”

She tilted her head at him and smiled that knowing smile that could be so damned infuriating.Then she shrugged.“So.Barnes is back.That’s good, yeah?”

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips then.“Yeah.He’s doing good. He and Sam bicker like a fucking old married couple -“ he caught himself, stopped, frowning. 

Nat laughed.“Yeah.But Sam’s about as straight as they come, so you don’t have anything to worry about there.”

“What?”

“Well, you and Barnes.You ... you’re a thing, right?”

Steve shook his head slowly, puzzled.“Why -“

It was her turn to look puzzled.“I just thought ... after Insight, the Accords, the way you reacted when he got dusted -“

“Uh -“

The idea was surprising.Shocking even.And then it settled a little deeper in his bones and felt surprisingly ... right.

And the memory of Buck’s face when he said goodbye at the time platform ... it took on new colors, like the world had after the serum.

“You really didn’t know?”

“I ... was planning to go back to 1947.”

“But Barnes was taken by Hydra in 1945.”

“Not to save Bucky,” he answered, and the words sounded like an accusation to him, an indictment of his own blindness.

“For Peggy.”

Steve nodded slowly.

“Tony had a life.Pepper.Morgan.He had a life.I ... I realized it was time for me to have mine.”

“In the past.But Peggy’s already lived her life, gotten married, had children -“

“A new timeline.”

She nodded, as though she understood.“And now?”

“Now I have only one Pym particle left.Enough to get you home to 2023.”

“And you maroon yourself in 2014?And do what?”

He took a deep, shuddering breath, and scrubbed his hand down his face.“Find Buck, I guess.See if I can make it up to him, maybe explore -“

“You idiot.Clint and I didn’t know this was a suicide mission.We both expected to come back.I still have my return particle.”

“Oh. Oh, that’s great, I -“

“You still want to go back to Peggy?To an era where you and Sam would never have been allowed to be friends?Where you and I could never be friends?Where even if you find Barnes, you could never be what you’re meant to be to each other?”

It was a startlingly simple equation.Go back to a time where Peggy should move on, where she would forge a future that wasn’t steeped in hatred and bigotry, where more than just straight white Christian men had opportunities ... or return to a future where he finally realized where his heart lay, and perhaps the one person who’d always loved him ... and who he’d always loved.

“Let’s go home.”

&&&

They stepped into the quantum realm and out onto the time platform in the clearing near Tony and Pepper’s cabin.Steve frantically triggered the helmet release, feeling the gentle breeze on his face as he took in Bruce smiling at the controls, Sam standing at the foot of the platform, arms crossed over his chest, Buck - Bucky wasn’t there, he must’ve -

“Nat?” Bruce called, his voice quavering with emotion.

“Cap,” Sam greeted, then a heartbeat later, “Nat?”

Silence for a beat, like the hush of a vacuum drawing inward.Then ...

“Steve?”

Buck stumbled forward, turning back from the lakeshore, his face a war of confusion, pain, and hope.

Of course. Steve had said he’d be sitting at the shore, ready to turn the shield over to a new Captain America.Bucky had known that Steve hadn’t planned to come back via the quantum realm, planning to take the long way round through the years.

Steve turned toward where Bucky now stood mere feet away, registering the encouraging nod from Nat as she was tugged into hugs and embraces and exclamations that somebody needed to find Clint.

“Steve,” Bucky breathed, his eyes raking over Steve in a way that seemed new and full of promise.

“Found a stowaway.She reminded me where home was,” Steve said then, hoping he sounded smoother than he did to himself.

“Stowaway, huh?Barton said she was -“

“She was. The stone gave her back. No one has ever brought it back before.”

“So what - it always found its way back on its own?”

“Dunno.Is that really what you wanna talk about now?”

“Oh, yeah, let’s get you changed - we got a celebration to plan here -“ Bucky shook his head and smiled, turned away to step back down to the ground.

Steve felt that this was a moment he couldn’t let pass, and let his hand reach out, grab Bucky by the wrist, and pull him back toward him.His hands settled on Bucky’s waist, drawing him closer, earning him a frown on Bucky’s face.

“Nat helped me realize my heart isn’t in 1947.It’s here.With you,” he added, reaching up to touch his fingers to Bucky’s cheek.Bucky’s eyes closed and he shifted slightly to press his cheek against Steve’s fingers. 

Then he opened his eyes again and Steve felt like he was 16 again, gasping for breath and overwhelmed by the fact that Bucky Barnes, the boy every girl wanted and every boy wanted to be, chose to spend time with him. And another piece fell into place, inexorable.Inevitable. 

“You sure about this, Steve?” Bucky whispered, his eyes dropping to glance at Steve’s lip.

“Are you?” Steve asked, feeling bold and reckless in that moment, sliding his fingers down to tip Bucky’s chin up.Bucky looked back at him clear-eyed and calm, a smile just starting to crinkle around his eyes, and Steve smiled back, pressing his lips against Bucky’s.

“About damned time,” he heard Sam say emphatically, and then he felt Bucky’s arms wind around him, pulling him flush against his chest, and there were so many more kisses to share.

END

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me last week, and haunted me until I got it written. I like my ending better. What do you think?


End file.
